Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
