if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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