im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
