dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
