I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
