u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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