I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize