hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Can Purell be used as lube?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
