If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
