I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize