Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
