If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
