If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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