a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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