Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
