Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
