We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
