I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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