She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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