I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
