this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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