I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize