mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
