Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hell yes lets make some ravioli
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
