i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
