As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
