Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
