I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
