Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
