Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm too high and old for this...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
