i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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