I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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