Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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