he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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