addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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