I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
