how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
