butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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