1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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