I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize