Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
