bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
