It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We just shotgunned beers for America
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize