let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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