Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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