GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize