It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
