i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
