Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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