nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
