i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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