absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
