He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
