I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
