dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
