Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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