I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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