we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
