I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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