I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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