Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
