would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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