I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
