oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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