she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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