Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
