The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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