Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
