I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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