I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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